On that day, Nepal received a grim reminder of how weak as a country we are. It was 25th April, 2027. At around 11:56 AM, a huge monster appeared in the locality of Kapan that was basically a giant octopus. It had 8 tentacles, a giant head and two bulbous eyes. No one could say, with certainty, where it came from. Some said it came from the sky, some said a giant portal opened and it came through it, while some said that the octopus was at first a normal sized octopus but grew to its monstrous size because of some magic or some unknown drug. The origins of the monster would remain a mystery for quite a long time. And the destruction it left in its wake would be seen by many generations.
Everyone was helpless in front of the terrifying monster. It lifted its tentacles and slammed them on the surrounding buildings, completely obliterating them. There were screams of horror, utter panic and mayhem. People were fleeing their homes, which had turned to rubble. Those on their bikes, turned them and maneuvered through the clogs of traffic; those whose vehicles were stuck, they abandoned them and ran on foot. Some were frozen in their tracks, unable to process what was happening and were confused on the right course of action. Some were trying to save their loved ones and were stuck on the decision of whether to save themselves. The giant octopus did not care; in fact, it seemed to be possessed by a certain rage, as if doling out the wrath of god. For the unlucky, it would be their last day. For the lucky, that day would scar them for the rest of their lives.
The government was in a panic. The prime minister held an emergency cabinet meeting.
“What the fuck is going on? What the hell am I hearing? A giant octopus is attacking us?” the prime minister Sherkhachanda asked.
“Yes sir, it was hard for me to believe as well but it has been confirmed that an octopus, a humongous one, really is wreaking havoc in Kapan,” the home minister replied.
The rest of the ministers murmured among themselves at the home minister’s statement. Sherkhachanda was quite speechless and for a brief while just stared in front of him. “Ok,” he said under his breath. He started pinching himself to no avail. He turned to the minister next to him, the minister of foreign affairs, and asked him, “Would you mind pinching me?”
“Where?” asked the minister of foreign affairs.
“On my shoulder,” Sherkhachanda said.
The minister of foreign affairs pinched him on his shoulder.
“Harder,” Sherkhachanda instructed.
The minister complied.
Sherkhachanda scrunched his face and endured the pain. “Ok enough!” he said.
The minister stopped pinching him.
“So this is not a dream… somehow,” Sherkhachanda murmured. “We have to deal with this…” He rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “Which one of you advised me to take over the government this time? I was chilling in Switzerland and could have stayed a month more but one of you wanted to scheme a take over during springtime. That bitch Pushpe Prasad Bahadur would be dealing with this shit and I’d still be chilling in Switzerland!” he exclaimed.
The cabinet was mum.
Sherkhachanda wracked his brain. “Oh right, it was Mane. Where is he?”
Manubir Pandey was the defense minister. He was absent from the cabinet meeting.
The minister of Agriculture said, “I… I heard he was leaving the country.”
“You heard he was leaving the country??” Sherkhachanda asked rhetorically. “For what?”
“I… I heard he was leaving to attend his son’s graduation in the US,” the minister of Agriculture replied.
“Stop saying ‘you heard’. I know he asked you to tell me this garbage. My daughter studies in the same university that his son is in. I would know about any graduation ceremony happening in that university.”
“Maybe… maybe your daughter isn’t… isn’t graduating tomorrow?” the minister of Agriculture said coyly.
“What are you trying to say?” Sherkhachanda glared at him.
“I’m just… relaying the information that the defense minister is not in Nepal right now.”
“Well tell him to come back. We’ve got a crisis where he is more important than me right now, to be present in the country. In fact, if he had told me about it two hours earlier, I would also be going on a US visit. Actually all of us here could be busy somewhere else. But that fucking selfish bastard thought only about himself. Remind me to pin him on the Bhutanese refugee scandal once this all blows over”
“I will gladly do that comrade,” the minister of Agriculture said.
“Ok great. Since… our Defense minister is not here… what do we do? Any ideas?” Sherkhachanda asked.
“Our army should be able to handle it, right?” the minister of youth and sports said.
Sherkhadchanda chuckled. “I really hope so. We used the money to buy new military equipment to repaint the old ones. Haha…” he said.
“We got a cut from that?” the minister of environment asked.
“Yes, everyone got a slice, as always. Money always passes through our hands,” Shekhachanda replied. “Anyway, it’s the army general’s problem. Do we have any intelligence on this monster? Is this America’s experiment? CIA’s? KGB? Or China?”
“We’ve heard of the US and China researching on creating biological weapons but they were like viruses and microscopic threats. We never heard of them ever creating giant monsters,” the minister of foreign affairs said.
“I’m betting it’s one of China. They’re close to us and they let covid run amok,” the minister of health said.
“I guess I’ll have to call Xi and have them clean this mess up, those goddamn fuckers. I was preparing for a China visit and now that’s going to be awkward,” Sherkhachanda exclaimed.
The minister of labor who had been looking at his phone and following the news raised his head and in a panic said, “The monster is reaching the Boudhanath stupa. It might destroy it.”
Sherkhachanda was shocked, “That is terrible…” he exclaimed. “Hasn’t our army reached the monster?”
“They have and they are trying to stop it but they can’t. The monster is not phased by our guns,” the minister of labor replied.
“Don’t we have tanks?” the minister of urban development asked.
“The army has mobilized two but one got stuck on a pothole and another seems to be blocked by the narrow road and a swarm of motorcycles,” the minister of labor replied.
There was a murmur in the cabinet room. The ministers were exclaiming all sorts of things. “The end of the world is here! It’s kali yug!” “I had told you guys that we should bolster our military but no one listened!” “God is punishing us!” “I am going to Bali for a month.” “This fucker! Can’t you fucking fix our roads?” “I will when you fix our water supply!” “Corruption! Corruption! It’s finally come to bite back on our asses!” “You should be jailed!” “It’s not my turn, it’s his.” “This is Nepal. This is how it works here!”
Sherkhachanda, who had been holding his head with his hands on the table, stood up. “Calm down everyone. We will get this under control. I will get China or India to send their fighter jets and kill that monster. Boudhanath stupa may be destroyed but China or US or Japan or some other country will pay to restore it. It is a world heritage site and we shall, of course, make more money than imaginable. So it is not a tragedy, but an opportunity!”
Everyone was silent.
“Sir…” the minister of foreign affairs said, “...you are a genius!”
The room erupted in cheers. “You are right sir!” “Bravo!” “SP ba!” “What would we do without you?” “India and China have amazing fighter jets!” and such cheering shouts were heard.
“Sir!” the minister of culture and tourism said, “Pashupatinath temple is close to Boudha. Why don’t we make the army divert the monster to Pashupati also? That will get us money from India and Thailand as well!”
Sherkhachanda walked over to the minister of culture and tourism and grabbed his head with his hands. He kissed him on his cheeks with a smile. “What a great idea!” he exclaimed.
The room erupted in laughter. The ministers started dancing and making out. The thought of billions of dollars of reconstruction project money going to their Swiss bank accounts made them elated and aroused. Sounds of laughter and pleasure were heard by people outside the room, who were quite confused.
The people who were not near the destruction range of the octopus were glued to their TVs, phones and computers. The media was giving the latest updates on the situation in the Kapan and Boudha area. They were interviewing the distraught survivors. Discussions on Facebook, Instagram, Reddit and Twitter were going wild. The videos and photos shared of the event were unbelievable and heartbreaking. Everyone was afraid and wondering if they should flee Kathmandu. The flights and roads going outside the valley had already become overburdened with people.
The monster easily demolished Boudhanath stupa and the Nepalese army using heavy fire and bombs, diverted the monster’s path to the southwest under orders from the army general. India pledged to send their best fighter jets to bomb the monster which would arrive at the monster’s location in thirty minutes. Other countries also promised to send aid urgently. Every country was confused about the origin of the monster. The smaller nations suspected the superpowers and the superpowers suspected each other.
Some religious groups started worshiping the octopus. A religious leader even claimed that the octopus was an avatar of Shiva, the god of destruction, sent as punishment and as she had predicted, would bring about the end of the world. Only those who had god in their heart and were a pure soul, would be spared and rewarded by god with a place in heaven. She instructed her followers to not fear and stay in their homes if they had no evil in their hearts. The octopus would not be able to harm them.
The monster was crawling downwards towards Pashupatinath temple when the fighter jets from India swooped in and flew over the monster. Prime minister Sherkhachanda was on the phone with the prime minister of India, coordinating the attack with him.
“Your fighter pilots arrived quite fast, Modi ji,” Sherkhachanda said.
“We wanted to waste no time. Why did you divert the monster towards Pashupati?” Modi asked.
“In Kathmandu, we do not have many open areas without buildings and people. Pashupatinath area was the nearest open space.”
“That makes sense but we can’t attack the monster when it’s around Pashupati. That would be blasphemous!”
“But if we don’t, the octopus will destroy the temple.”
“Then it would be God's will. I won’t have my people desecrate such an important religious heritage.”
Sherkhachanda was smiling. “You might not but China and the US are already preparing to launch missiles on the monster.”
“Well stop them you idiot! Why aren’t you trying to protect your own sacred temple?”
Sherkhachanda’s smile went away. “Of course Modi ji, I was just letting you know their intentions. I would never let them bomb Pashupatinath.”
“I’ll have your head if even one missile lands on Pashupatinath!”
“No way Modi ji! They can’t send bombs to our country without my permission.”
The army general and minister of foreign affairs, who were in the room with Sherkhachanda and listening in to his conversation, grew concerned.
Sherkhachanda hung up the phone and said, “Ok boys, mommy India will not have us bomb Pashupati and daddy China is furious after Boudhanath was destroyed so I don’t know how to convince Xi to stop firing missiles. Guess we’ll have to let them fight it out first.”
Just then there was a knock at the door. An officer came into the room and said, “Sir! We are getting news that a group of Nepalis calling themselves, ‘The Nepali Gorkhali’ have gathered in Pashupati with the intention of attacking the monster.”
“What?” Sherkhachanda asked, shocked.
The Nepali Gorkhali were a group of Nepalis who had formed online, uniting on the singular mission of taking up arms and defending their homes. Those brave men and women, numbering about three hundred, did not want to run away but to do what they could to stop the monster from ravaging their people and homes. They had brought khukuris, knives, scimitars, sickles, bats, car tyres, molotov cocktails, bricks, sticks and whatever they could use as weapons. Some had brought motorcycles, cars and one had even brought a truck. Almost all of them were in their normal casual clothes but some were wearing the traditional gurkha dress consisting of a white turban, white tunic and white trousers. One of them wearing the gurkha dress, led the crew and was standing atop the truck. All of them were waiting for the octopus to come closer so that they could charge at it.
As the monster came closer and closer though, their hearts started to tremble. When they really saw the monstrosity, coming in the distance, become quite larger than they had expected it to be from the photos and videos and when they felt the ground-shaking thud of its legs, they finally realized how foolish their endeavor was. They looked at each other with worried faces, asking without words, “Are we really going to charge to our deaths?” They were waiting for one person to flee who happened to be a bike rider that turned his bike and rode away. Following his suit, the people began fleeing one by one.
The leader atop the truck screamed, “Stop! My friends! Do not let the fear consume you now! Remember that we are here to defend our homes!”
But his screams were to no avail. Of the three hundred, only nine remained. The leader asked them to get on the truck.
“Guys,” the leader said, “I am glad that you are here with me. Nepal is the land of the gorkhali! Today we will honor our ancestors! Today we will show the world what we are made of! Today we are truly Gorkhali! Charge!!”
The truck accelerated towards the octopus. The gorkhali screamed at the top of their lungs with courage. The octopus, seeing the truck coming towards it, raised one of its tentacles up in the air and brought it down upon the truck. Six of the gorkhalis froze and got smashed by the tentacle along with the truck. Three, including the leader, jumped out of the way. Two gorkhalis who jumped could not grab onto the slimy body of the octopus and so they slipped and got crushed under the octopus. Only the leader held on to the octopus by stabbing its body with his khukuri. The octopus cried a low sound that reverberated throughout its body. It moved its huge head and eyes towards the gorkhali leader. He screamed, this time out of horror as the octopus smashed into the nearby building and crushed him.
“Oh my god these idiots…” Sherkhachanda said, facepalming at the news of the nine dead gorkhali. “I’ll have to go to nine families and do a whole sympathy thing. What a pain in the arse!”
“I must say, they were stupid but also quite brave,” the army general said.
“Bravery is not what we need right now, do we? We need leadership, general,” Sherkhachanda retorted, “Is there an area where we can bomb the octopus?”
“Sir, there is an open area down the Bagmati river, on the left side, that would result in minimal damages and avoid the main temple area.”
“That will do. Make it happen. Get the octopus there. But only after it breaks a few idols and temples but also not so much that rebuilding will require too much money. The key here is balance, general.”
“Understood sir.”
The octopus broke through the entrance of the Pashupatinath temple. It decimated the bronze bull and the main temple. The army commanders were stumped on what strategy they could employ to minimize or control the destruction as ordered from above. The temple area was too narrow and the octopus was too big for the men to surround or lure it. Also they had already used up much of their ammunition during the Boudhanath encounter. All they could do was helplessly watch as the temple got completely demolished. In the chaos, the media latched on to the Birupakshya statue that broke free from the ground—a mythical sign of the start of the apocalypse.
A US Army helicopter arrived over Pashupati. Opening the side door of the helicopter, a US soldier mounted the gatling gun aboard it and pointed it towards the octopus. A barrage of bullets rained on the octopus, which immediately caught its attention. The octopus howled and lashed its tentacles towards the helicopter. The helicopter backed away. The octopus started following the helicopter which flew towards the open area down the Bagmati river.
“Target has reached the engagement point. Firing in 10 seconds,” the Indian fighter jet pilot said over the radio.
The US helicopter maneuvered out of the area and the two Indian fighter jets dropped several bombs over the octopus. The bombs fell one by one and exploded on the octopus, engulfing it in a fiery blaze. The octopus’s howls were very intense and it squirmed around and fell onto the Bagmati river with a heavy thud, destroying surrounding infrastructure and splashing over the dirty water. When the smoke cleared, the charred body of the octopus was laying, unmoving, on the ground.
“Target is down. Mission accomplished,” the Indian fighter jet pilot relayed.
Sherkhachanda popped open a champagne bottle among his council of ministers. They cheered and danced in merriment. Meanwhile, the media was showcasing the incredible destruction that the monster had left behind. Thousands of people had died and arbas of property and infrastructure had been damaged. A lot of people were mourning their loved ones.
Two US army helicopters landed on the ground near the monster’s carcass. US army soldiers, in special gear, got out of the helicopters and aggressively ordered the Nepali army to clear the area. The captain of the Nepali army protested and asked what wing of the US army they were but the US army soldiers threatened that he would be shot if he didn’t comply with their request. The Nepali captain ordered his soldiers to leave the area.
A tall lanky man also exited the helicopter who was in normal clothes, except for a white lab coat. He had blue spiky hair. As the soldiers surrounded the octopus, the lanky man walked towards it and examined it. He felt the slimy body of the octopus with his hands. He was fascinated by it. He took out a test tube and scraped some of the octopus’ skin in it and put it in his coat.
A sudden movement caught his eye. It seemed the skin of the octopus moved. The man felt its body again. The body was cold but it pushed against his hand. It kept pushing and eventually formed a cone outwards. The man pulled his hand and stepped back. The US army soldiers raised their guns towards it. One soldier screamed at the man to get behind them. The man slowly stepped back but was too entranced by what was happening in front of him.
The skin bulged to a point and eventually broke apart, revealing a tentacle. The tentacle retracted back into the body and from the new hole that had been formed, emerged out a slimy living thing. The thing squirmed and extended itself, revealing it to be a normal sized octopus. Everyone was startled.
“Wow! So it was a female…” the lanky man commented.
No sooner had the lanky man finished his sentence, the child octopus leaped at his head and grabbed it. The lanky man screamed. The soldiers tried to shoot at the child octopus but it was hard to not also shoot the man. The man squirmed on the ground. A soldier took out a knife and tried to stab the child octopus but it leaped at the soldier. The soldier stabbed the child octopus multiple times before it got off. The other soldiers started shooting at it but it was very fast. It started jumping at the soldiers one by one. It would bite them with its beak and ooze out black ink which was acidic and burned the face of the soldiers. The lanky man and the soldier who tried to stab it were dead on the ground with their faces burned off.
After multiple stabs, thousands of bullets and ten casualties later, the child octopus was finally dead as well. But the soldiers would not get a moment to breathe because through the hole of the giant octopus, more children started emerging. The soldiers knew they had to retreat and started running back towards their helicopters. They shot at the child octopi but they were too fast and kept emerging more and more from the cadaver’s hole. The soldiers were eventually overwhelmed and some latched onto the helicopters as well when they lifted up.
The Indian fighter jets shot missiles at the cadaver which killed some child octopi but it also made the cadaver burst open and more child octopi emerged. They seemed to also be getting bigger by the minute and one became strong enough to make a huge leap at one of the flying fighter jets. It wrapped the jet with its tentacles and crushed it, making the jet combust and fall into the ground in an explosion. After seeing that, the other Indian fighter jet flew away. The two US army helicopters also got crushed and fell. None of the US army soldiers survived.
Two months later, Sherkhachanda’s address was broadcast on Nepal television:-
“Dear people of Nepal, I, Sherkhachanda, the prime minister, am addressing you today from Texas, United States of America, to apologize for failing my country, my countrymen and the strong history of our sovereign nation. It is with deep sadness, I inform you of the current state of our country, which has fallen to the enigmatic scourge of giant octopi. We are currently coordinating with the UN on evacuating those that are still trapped in Nepal. I am in talks with the US, Australia, Germany, Canada, Japan, China, South Korea, Dubai, Qatar and other countries to grant us Nepalese permanent residence in the respective countries. That does not mean that we have given up on our country. The circumstances right now are dire, yes, but with military assistance from the UN, US, India and China, I believe that we shall eventually take back our homeland. But this endeavor has been estimated to take years upon years to fully eradicate the threat and decades may pass before we can go back and resettle. I promise, to you, my people, that even if we might not get to return to our homes, our children and grandchildren will one day, and the country of Nepal will thrive once again. Thank you.”
Years passed as the US, China, India and Nepal struggled to deal with the octopi. India made a wall of military points around Nepal’s border to contain the octopi while China had the advantage of the himalayan range blocking them. The US kept researching the octopi and its mystery under classified programs. Nepalis became a minority in the different nations they fled to. As decades came and went, slowly, the Nepali identity merged with the other respective countries and they tried to carve out their own place there. The mission of retaking Nepal fell from the priorities of the countries that had pledged to help Nepal as it was too costly and would require investing too much resource that was better utilized on their own countries’ causes. Nepali activists abroad kept raising their voices and struggled to get more support for the mission. They kept getting strung along on empty promises. Eventually, Nepal, which was once claimed to be the most beautiful country on earth, became a wasteland.